Stress is a 6 letter word

My chest hurts and I am standing next to Francesca and Heather. Heather arrived with her father at the hospital minutes before I could get there from work . I left in a rush so I really didn't say goodbye to anyone just "I have to go." She is having a very rough time. She has shown signs of early renal failure and this would be the beginning of a downturn. We are here saying to her quietly "please pee pee, please pee pee for mom and dad." I know this sounds funny but pray for pee pee. The longer she doesn't pee the more critical everything becomes. They have her on more insulin for her high potassium levels and albumin to help her reabsorb the fluid underneath her skin. Heather and I were going to share dinner in the hospital but while we were standing in line my phone rang. We are told we should come to her side as soon as possible. When we got there her right lung had collapsed and put pressure on her heart causing a huge drop in blood pressure. The nurses at All Children's are awesome. I watched them do compressions and give her more O2 to keep her little heart going. We were there for 2 hours watching this all happen. When we left she was pink and moving which is good but we haven't heard anything about her peeing yet.

Update from Mom- we called to check on her at 9:30 this evening, and the nurse said she did pee a tiny, tiny bit (about one milliliter!). Her blood gases are good and the ventilator is back down. This doesn't mean everything is okay, but I'm happy to even see a drop. Earlier today they said yesterday's head ultrasound did show another bleed in her head, but it's only a level 1 (4 is the worst) so she can overcome this with physical therapy. I watched her sleep for a few hours today. Her face is becoming more defined (adorable perky nose! blond eyebrows!). She still hasn't opened her eyes for us yet. I stroked her head, spoke softly to her, and pressed my hand against the bottom of her feet. She seemed to like it as she pressed back. It was so good to see her again today. The day's events had me so stressed though that I took a 2.5 hour nap when we got home this evening and am ready for a full night's sleep just an hour later! I picked up a baby book for her today and began filling it out. Her birth announcement was in the newspaper today so I clipped that too. It may sound odd but I don't feel ready to shop for clothes or other baby items for her yet. Maybe I'll feel differently in a couple of weeks.

Also, thank you very much, Mel and Cindy, for the St. Gerard metal and the adorable hats. I'm a big believer in St. Anthony (helps me find things) and St. Joseph (sold our house in a bad market), so I have no doubt St. Gerard will make her well. I've got it in my special place and have been praying several times a day. xo